Tomorrow is September 11th...

I always remember where I was, who I was with, I was 200 miles from ground zero. While I miss my Mom, this is not a memory I would want to relive. Not for 100 days with her. I am not that selfish as to cause so much more hurt. That day still gives me chills. That day still hurts. That day is a day I remembered, with my mother, who is gone now. The only thing I would do if I had that day back was to look at my parents, hug them deeply, tell them how thankful I am for both of them and how grateful I am for my life and their love. Thirty mins in New York City on September 11th, 2001.......ended so many lives.....and changed so many more for the next 20....30...40...100 years. Never forget. Bob

You can read my post here...

9/11/01

Been a minute...

Been a minute since I wrote on here. April to be exact. Haven't been working since around that time and enjoying this time off. Life is so short, flies by so fast. Amazing what perspective you can get on things when you stop being caught up in that 9 to 5. Haven't done much this summer. Well, didn't travel much, but that's okay. Got to the pools with my nephews and niece, lots of good time to see my sisters and enjoy being back "home"....for now. Lots of thoughts arrive in August about mom. The summer winding down, flip flops worn down, the time I didn't really get to spend at the shore, the missed plans or opportunities. Think just setting my sights on 50 being somewhere near the water. Lots of busy-ness around the old stomping grounds, but it's been good to explore a little. I think curiosity about life, what it holds, for me it helps keep me going down the road. Granted didn't see as many friends as I would've liked to see, lives change, people change, people move on, people stay. Maybe see what some other areas have going on next summer. I definitely got in a ton of pools this summer. haha. Enjoyed watching the Phils from home more than the park this year. A calm. Health and peace, so important as we age. Some ups and downs, as is life. Looking to be curious again....

I saw you

It started with broken glass. 

I saw an open seat. 

I saw my future in you. 

I saw myself in you.

We laughed. We talked about pain.

We touched. 

We talked about the past.

I wanted more. 

You got pulled away. 

I could grip your scent. 

We talked about the rough times. 

I touched your knee.

You grabbed your side. 

I asked. 

You answered.

Your smile. Your lips. 

It brought me to life. 

My heart started beating again. 

I am alive again. 

When I run away to Mars

I wonder where we are all heading. All of us rambling along on the roads and highways, not many of us on roads of dirt or water. Our materialism ate those paths up; those paths that may have provided us the greatest nourishment. I am not working at the moment. It leaves time in your mind; for bad, for good, for anything. I will travel soon. Back to those dirt paths as I did yesterday. Along the mountain cliff or down the slope of time. Eager to see a friend that connects me to the person I was before I changed. Let's face it, we all change. I mean, we have to change and adapt; a forceful hand of cards in the deck of life. I was not the same person 25 years ago. Granted, I was not the same person 25 minutes ago. I am 25 minutes older. There are days I don't feel like fighting what is flowing. I shake that off in minutes most days. We are traveling so fast through space and time; we are coming and going across spectrums faster than we ever did as humans. Do we ever sit still any more? Do we ever just sit and think about our place in this vast universe, our place in history, our time on this planet. Getting older, folks growing older, things breaking, minds bending, longing for a place where they felt good in life only to realize that place is now only in their mind....that place where you created the memory. You and her, you and him, you and them, us, together. We're by the water, by the trees, we're eating, we're singing, we're laughing, we're laughing with you Sandman...you and your boy Chris Farley. We become adults, yet long for that approval of our parent(s), that hug, that kiss, that assurance it will be ok. We turn on the news and realize, everything is not alright. The sun has always been real and for some reason a reminder that the new day was something we've never seen before. I think I would've faded if it was dark and gray where I am. I am drawn to the brightness, that which can light up the darkness or burn me if I get too close. Thus, I will see you on that vertical trail to space and hopefully get to see the top of the mountain; that place we were at in our minds, but we can climb to again.......soon.

What If I run away to Mars?

Would you find me in the stars?

Would you miss me in the end?

If I run out of oxygen

When I run away to Mars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMPkCCxkEVI

in passing

Everyone has a past. Everyone has things they wish they could change. Why is it that when we lament over the past, it is usually missed opportunities or things you wish you hadn't done or experienced, but there is no changing it. It is hammered away in stone. Granted there are those lucky few who get to go through a second chance of a situation. Very rare I know. When you get excited about moving forward, you take control of your perception of the past from your heart and your mind. Really if anyone says things worked out exactly like they imagined, they're lying. We're all bootstrapping (despite what their social media will tell you). Wake up, tackle your day, wander when you can in your head, take a step back, feel love, feel joy, process sadness, process loss. A lot to do in one day. haven't written on here in a while. the future is receding, like salt water rushing away from the beach......it is truly the cycle of life. the coming and going of the tide. stay above water, swim where you can, stay still to catch your breath, reach out for a life preserver when you need to. get to safety. touch the rough of the rocks. touch it with your feet and your hands. the pain will awaken your senses....remember...there were people that couldn't jump in the water today....they have moved on....and are now, part of the past. 

"The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." - Oscar Wilde

ALL-DEL VAL NATIONAL

 ALL-DEL VAL NATIONAL

December 11, 1994 | Delaware County Daily Times (Primos - Upper Darby, PA)

FIRST TEAM OFFENSE Line: Greg Pierce, Academy Park; Jerrold Weatherly, Chester; Xavier Galindo and Ofa Donaldson, Glen Mills; Milton Smith, Ryan Booker and Joe Terra, Penn Wood. Quarterback: Kyle Hill, Penn Wood.

Receivers: Dennis Springer and Anthony Reynolds, Penn Wood; Maurice Ryant, Glen Mills; Joe Hollman, Chester.

Running backs: Aaron Mackrey, Penn Wood; Ben Alexander, Glen Mills; James Carmichael, Academy Park.

FIRST TEAM DEFENSE Line: Pete Govens, Glen Mills; Raoof Mateen, Academy Par; Lamont Hughes and Jessie Allen, Chester; Ben Stanley, Milton Smith and Ed Jean-Baptiste, Penn Wood.

Linebackers: Joe Terra and Justin Wright, Penn Wood; Kareem Devine, Chester; Damar Johnson, Glen Mills; Tim Meeley, Academy Park.

Back: Aaron Mackrey, Michael D. Walker and Anthony Reynolds, Penn Wood; Chris Ferrari, Academy Park; Kewyne Bolds, Chester; Everett Baker, Glen Mills.

SECOND TEAM OFFENSE Line: Enos Hill, Glen Mills; Vernon Brown, Damon Mayfield, Jesse Allen and Lamont Hughes, Chester; Ed Jean-Baptiste, Penn Wood; Andre Harrison, Academy Park.

Quaterback: McGuel Bays, Glen Mills.

Receivers: William Mason, Glen Mills; Albert Motley, Chester; Michael D. Walker, Penn Wood; Jeremy Klein, Academy Park.

Running backs: Jamar Kinder, Chester; Jamar Butler, Glen Mills; Justin Wright, Penn Wood.

SECOND TEAM DEFENSE Line: Damon Mayfield and Jerrold Weatherly, Chester; Sionne Tavake and Darryl Gartley, Glen Mills; Jerome Farquharson, Penn Wood.

Linebackers: Dennis Springer, Wilson Audelein and Shauntae Willis, Penn Wood; Henry Shivers, Glen Mills; Devon Minter amd Albert Motley, Chester; Kwasi Aware, Academy Park.

Backs: Walter Bracey and Jack Combs, Glen Mills; Andre Handy, Chester; John Scanlan, Academy Park; Craig Davis, Penn Wood.

HONORABLE MENTION (Listed alphabetically by school) Academy Park: Tim Flynn, Dwayne Smart, Bill Bissinger, Mike Porreca, Steve Richart, Pat Hicks, Andre Harrison, Greg Pierce, Kevin Hornug, Jeremy Klein.

Chester: Rashod Kelly, Jamil Boyer, Devin Minter, Naeem McCommons, Kareem Devine, Dirk Butler, Basil Motley, Robert Chase, Michael Cobb.

Glen Mills: Brancisco Denoyas, Vern Scott, Cliff Anderson, Josh Elliott, B.J. Morgan, Anthony Bright, Mike Crosby.

Pass the bar.

You sit at the bar. Friends talking. Strangers talking. People engaging. You think 100 years ago they may have been talking about, oh wait, maybe it was Prohibition so everyone was at a speakeasy. People were gonna get their booze. As Pop Pop used to say…near beer. You think about what dreams were born at the pub, the bar, the watering hole, the well (Springsteen), the dive. You get it. Maybe dreams were born. Maybe dreams died. Maybe it was cheers to a birth. Maybe it was cheers to a death. Maybe a cheers to a wedding. Maybe cheers to a divorce. Maybe it was celebrating the championship (Go Phils!) or maybe it was to drown sorrows from losing the Series in 93 (still hate Joe Carter!). A guy friend of me reached out and said “I miss you”. I know he was probably drinking. He’s a good guy and fun to be around. He’s working hard to support his wife and kids. Somewhere along the line, we all went our different ways. Connected today by social media yet not social. I felt bad cause it was too late to drive to his house and well that was that. I told him  we had a plan to all meet up. I thought to myself. Who knows if this would be the last time I could be talking to him? Maybe there was more going on. I didn’t ask. In 2022, we are bound in such different ways. Technology has disconnected our real connections. Part of me doesn’t like it and I work in tech. Tech has gotten me in trouble some times. Caught in the act we shall say. But in a way happy I was caught cause I was doing wrong. There lies my question. Are we engaging today? Are we being human to humans? I use tech a lot for my personal life (pictures, blogs). I admit that. But are we still there for each other? I don’t know. Maybe that’s how we get off track. We forget who our friends are. Are they people or images on a screen now? I can’t hug a picture.  I like hugs. Haha. Til next time. Next round on me! 

Here’s to you Aunt Joan. You were always enjoying a cold one. You always were engaged and entertaining. You always were interested to see us. You were empathetic. You had joy. You were independent. Your hugs and cheek kisses were always something I sought out. I never was in a bad mood around you. Even when Mom passed. You were there with that same empathy and you didn’t even talk cause I knew you loved my mom. I knew you I loved us. I knew we loved you. You lived good. You lived an honorable and joyous life. I never ever heard one person say one bad thing about you in all my 44 years. That speaks volumes. I will miss seeing you. I will miss you the way you drank your beers. If my memory serves me right. You just held your beer a way I will remember until my time comes. Say hi to mom and Kathy and “Joe”. My God he got a kick out of you calling him that. Say hi to Uncle Har. He is probably making everyone laugh. The two of you. Two special humans I will remember forever. Just your personality and temperament. Thank you for loving us. 

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight

and I'm going to drink till I get my fill

And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
but I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
a little of the glory of, well time slips away
and leaves you with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days

Glory Days. Bruce Springsteen