Saturday, May 11, 2024

Mother's Day

Since my Mom passed, Mother's Day is very different than it had been in the years prior. We always met up, did dinner, drinks, gifts. Even when I spent time away from the house, I made it a point to get her something for the house or for herself or a funny card. When this weekend comes around, now, I think a lot about what I would say to her if she were still here. While we can act like it might be some common conversation to discuss daily things and what not, if you lost a loved one and there is a chance to speak to them one more time, I reckon all you're going to do is tell them how much you love them, hug them, kiss them, and just tell them how much they meant to you. My mom was loved, but we often times, in our present, we just get so caught up in other things, we dont really digest the love someone gives to us. Whether it's over months, days, years, decades. I don't have any children, so I don't know the love a parent has for a child; but I have been around kids my entire life. The older brother of four sisters. For many years, from 0-10, it was really just me and my mom. Dad worked a lot. Mom ran the house. I have memories here and there from that age, but I never really asked her, how happy was she to be my mom during those years. Like of course I know she was happy as a new mom. I just wonder what she thought about those days and nights, the different places she was with my dad to raise me, the places she took me, the food she fed me, the tub time the sink at Saybrook Ave in Southwest Philly, the times down the shore at her own parents trailer. Part of me always thinks her and her sister and her mom, her brother and her dad are all there....their Camelot. To all you mothers out there, happy Mother's Day. You make the world move. I miss my mom dearly. She cared about me, but she also cared about many people I cared about and showed those people how much she cared. 


Monday, April 15, 2024


I left the gym and started driving. The cold morning air hit me in the face. It took me back to a few times. Times that are stamped on my mind. We turned the corner of your street and started walking toward town. We would laugh and times were simple. We were alone and the town was still asleep. I don’t ever see anyone but the two of us, the trees, the water, my breath and the heat coming off your face. A cherubic face staring into the cold. It’s sunny out during my memories of these days. It’s always sunny and never gray. The memory of the purity of it all. Lives cross paths of time and space and become connected and disconnected. A chance encounter. Oh. I’ve had a few. I don’t know why the wintertime holds a special place. I think it has something to do with the eyes of the soul and seeing into a person. I can also remember the sadness that was there. The fall was also beautiful. We went through it a few times. One here, one there. I sit in those moments some times. The places have not changed but the people have. I’ve gone back to one place, but not the other for a very long time. Both have spots on my soul.  The darkness do reality does not dim the bright light that did shine during many times. Alas, winter changed to spring, things changed, we changed, and the light dimmed….to blaze again in some other place, in some other hearts.