Rain falling down. Wetting the soil. Overflowing waterways. Helping things grow. Quieting down the seas. I had this belief I would always be useful. I had this belief I might have a chance at eternal happiness. I now believe that both are kind of intermittent. They occur and then they don't. You have a lull, you become dull. You aren't useless, you're just not being used. You're not always going to be happy, but sometimes it's the chance you might be happy. I wonder a lot. I wonder what truly will make me happy and whether or not I am supposed to be "happiest" or if this threshold is enough. It's been a long time since I thought about the happiest time in my life. I did have that moment today. Shopping for the cards to hold the gift cards. She was looking at cards, she laughed and then spoke, "these cards...they're so stupid....(giggles).." It had been a long time since I talked to a pretty stranger. In a few seconds, I "woke" up out of my weekly work of boredom daze to look at her. Her hair, her face, her cut jeans....and our quest for cards to make someone happy....to make us feel useful. She walked out, I stared. Usually I would get back to my car and regret not asking her more. This time I just smiled and enjoyed a moment between two strangers and maybe, an awakening of sorts.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I stumbled on a great article on Happiness and Usefulness...by Darius Foroux... I subscribe to his work. Most times I am playing catch up on his articles, but the ones from yesterday are relevant today and tomorrow. Check it out.
The Purpose Of Life Is Not Happiness: It’s Usefulness