allone

Sometimes it comes down to the time you get by yourself. Sometimes it takes that to come to the conclusion as to what you really want out of life or in life. It's not a bad thing. It happens to all of us. We are alone when we are young, we grow, meet people, sometimes alone in our 20's, some times into our 30's, sometimes married, sometimes divorced and alone. Grow old, widow, become alone. It is finding that point where you are happy with who you are and not who you are with someone else or when the lights are shining. Our best moments usually occur when no one is looking. Helping a stranger, handing out a dollar to a homeless person, holding the door for an elderly person. That's all it takes. Be careful to not be into yourself too much and materialistic things; they will disappear. Support and love and passion can hold on for decades. Centuries. Care for one another. It will come back to you. Sometimes we go through things where it is hard to support someone, but try hard to climb over that obstacle and provide support. Even if it is just quietly wishing the person well in private. I do that. My outside self can't always do it, but my inside self does. If you think you're alone in a big city, on this big planet, any country, you are not. We are all in this together. We are all one. We are not alone. And when you don't think you have a friend....write me...I will be your friend. I will write you. We all need help....in one way or another. We all miss someone. We all want to feel safe. We all want to feel support and love and care. And there is enough of it to go around....

The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness. - Norman Cousins

The Breakers

With life moving at lightning speed these days, it is hard to really enjoy a moment or a memory. It’s captured so quickly in a picture, a message, a video, or some other medium. In days past a moment or a memory was private, held only in your heart or in your mind and you could only reflect on it privately, on your own terms. Nowadays there are millions of acres of a virtual life where moments and memories can be suspended in time and held out there forever. I feel like this is a good thing. You can see something and remember that moment, who you were at that time, who you became, or who(m) you left behind or who(m) left you behind. The tragedy of the past is that that it is gone as quickly as it is made. We move forward. We keep those special memories close to heart. It is truly amazing how they can sit on your subconscious heart and mind and can be randomly accessed at the speed of light just from seeing something familiar, hearing a song, or being in a place the memory was created and still lasts forever. It’s important to always see the good…even if it is a memory of a difficult time or experience. Life itself can’t simply always be easy and positive moments. Life does require some tenacity, strife, and perseverance….it makes life worth living..and it makes the good moments…that much more valuable. Life is like the ocean…it can be so powerful and destructive, but the ocean and it’s power also provide a livelihood, a way to survive, a way to live, and a way to enjoy life amongst the calm sea and wavering tide. Like life, some times the tide will be so high you can hardly tread water, but the tide recedes, you start to paddle again, and soon you can walk back on land and know that you have made it….and you remember what you made it through.

“When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.” Rainer Maria Rilke

life guard

Sometimes it takes a lot of pain to realize how special life is. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize how special life is. Sometimes it takes losing those you love to realize how special life is. The older we get we seem to surround ourselves with those people we know truly care about us, but also those people that can reciprocate love back. Those people that won’t judge us and will listen intently or give us the straight dope for advice. It’s hard to let go of special people, but sometimes it’s not really letting go, but rather just going in different directions. Everyone, each one of us, seems to be on our own journey. Free will is a hell of a thing we have inside us. It’s great to be on the same page with those close to you. It’s also to have the drive to be independent and create your own road. If you can’t handle being alone, you most likely won’t be able to be good being with someone. You learn so much about yourself on this journey. Every moment impacts the moments that follow. Difficult choices need to be made and new opportunities come about. It can be a new job, a new friend, a new significant other, a new place, a new road, a new sunset. So much can be appreciated from a new perspective. You don’t lose those that came before and your paths may cross again. If they do, focus on the positive, focus on the good, focus on what was special between the two of you. There’s a lot to be thankful for when two lives intersect and memories are created. Sometimes children don’t even get this opportunity to bond with their parents because of certain reasons. We all change. We all become different. You realize that it is the most important and caring people in your life that have circled around you; in times of joy and times of sadness, to become your lifeline. There’s a lot to be said about weathering the storm and being there for someone. We all have choices….but quitting can never be one that is a satisfying nor easy choice to make. If someone upsets you or even gives you so many reasons to give up, don’t. It’s a lot easier to walk away than it is to work through the storm. That’s not what we’re about. In centuries of our past, there are millions of stories of people sticking together…in the worst of times and some until death. It’s amazing what a bond perseverance can create.

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may not forget you. – William Arthur

I sea

We are young, then become teenagers, trying so hard to fit in and act cool and act "mature". We get to the late teens, college, trying to fit in and act mature. We get to our first jobs or graduate school or whatever...trying to fit in and act mature. Get into relationships and get married...need to act mature and be an adult. Working that job, no fun, stagnant, same thing day in and day out. Stare out the window (if lucky enough to be near one) to see the sun or the rain the trees or the leaves or just the green grass and you long for the days of your youth. Those non-sense activities you did as a kid...outside, in the sun, in the water, the pool, the hydrant, the sidewalk, the stoop, the yard, the steps, the corner store, The Ave. You yearn for those times. Not just because of the places, but because of the innocence and purity that was your childhood, your youth. Those times when you were not aware of such a big world you were in...it was your world that you were consumed in. A world of dreams and fantasy...a world of what was and what could be. It is good to flashback to those times. The pure joy of those times can get you by in times of stress. No one can take those memories away from you. I hope they are good. I hope they are colorful and I hope they have erased any of the darkness that may have invaded your childhood. I like to think of being near water. Somehow it is always cleansing and purifying the soul. Whether it be the ocean or a pool....that feeling that what is surrounding you pleases you and creates a sense of joy and calm in your life.

We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came. John F. Kennedy

dis tort

It seems like this happens often. We all have families and our well-being. We all are trying to survive in this world. No one knows what you as a person might be dealing with. No one knows about what your family is dealing with. No one knows what you struggle with every day. Yet I see it. A person moves on. From a relationship, a job, a team, a group, a situation. I myself have experienced it. Shit. We all have. We've all been dumped, let go, dropped, cut, rejected, dejected, and subjected. I just don't get how people can be angry that you leave something you gave your time to. Time is something you can never get back, but there are so many that look at you as a quitter or a deserter when you want to move on to something else, something better, something different. Really it comes down to, you gotta do what's best for you. Not what's best for your manager, your colleague, your team, or anyone else (except wife and kids). People should celebrate that of all the things a person can devote their time to, they chose to devote it to the situation you both were passionate about. It's pathetic when people become so hateful because someone wants to improve their lives, change their lives or seek out an opportunity to grow. It's even worse when they are angry when they know the person gave their all, but is truly not happy or content. Inside, you have to do what's best for you and your family. It's sad that some people really never realize this because they are so greedy, selfish, or have distorted ideals about this world. Celebrate a person moving closer to happiness. We're all striving to get to that perfect medium. Happy job, happy relationship, happy friends, happy relatives, happy life.

Hi to my readers in Israel and France. I hope you are smiling today. Amazing how far words can travel.

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -- not the great occasions -- that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.- Bob Hope

Retreat

That moment where you stand still in place or are laying down where you feel most comfortable and safe. It's where you need to be or where you have gone to be alone. Needing space, needing quiet, needing time. You can still hear the most subtle of sounds outside but it can be the loudest inside your head or inside your heart. Those are the places where the most silent of screams and cries are not heard, but they are most surely felt. Not a person can hear or see them, but they are present. It is at that moment you retreat to your quiet place to exclude yourself from time passing to a state of time standing still. The room does not change and the consistency provides you with a sense of comfort; a sense of home. It may not be what is physically in this place but rather what you imagined is there. A person that has since left your side, a lost loved one who has moved on from their existence, a place where you shared a time of joy, a time of love, a time of laughter. It is in those times that we pass through in our head. Like notes on bars, we travel through melodically only able to feel and see but time plays on like the song. You must remember these special places and keep them close as they will help you survive with the memory of the love you have and that place you hold close inside.


The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which means leaving things inside us. -G. K. Chesterton

change-up

That moment when you wake up, early, knowing that change needs to happen. You realize that it is the only path to you being satisfied and content. You know that the path will not be easy and it may not be short, but the result will be worth it. You realize that those who have rejected your desire to change or your ideas to change are either scared of the success of your change or ashamed that they are stagnant and not willing to change and misery loves company. Change is scary, but a future of doing the same thing with the same results is just as scary, if not scarier. Change will take work. Lots of work. You will need to spend more time to think about the change, measure the impacts, think out the process of change, actually decide to take action and change and then moderating the ripple effects of the change. Many who are just followers or who just like things to always be "routine" or "familiar" are going to have a negative outlook on change. This is to be expected as they realize they never had the guts to change or that their path suits them just fine. Many times there will be people who object group change. Individual change, regardless of impacts, should be applauded as it is usually a step towards personal growth and an awakening. Usually change does not just happen one day. Usually change is brought on by days/weeks/months/years of negative experiences and negative outcomes, by negative results and minimum positive reactions, lack of desire, but also lack of interest, loss of respect, and interest in the unknown. Change is inside all of us. I believe that we try to hang on until we are forced to change. Sometimes we are not so fortunate and change has to be decided at the exact point in time that change is needed. Change is an awakening of the spirit and human energy. In order to survive in this world, we must adapt, we must change, we must embrace change, we must promote change. If we do not change and adapt, we are not growing.

When you're finished changing, you're finished. - Benjamin Franklin