I never wanted to be good at this "death" thing. I think since I was in the third grade, I remember being pulled out of class for my great grandmother's death. Then it was Mike in our Jr Year. Suicide. Then it was one after another. Tommy DeStefano on our baseball team, suicide. Then a long break. Then Tommy, that one changed me. He was so full of life. Dead in his early 30's. Then year after year. John, Pop Pop, Mom, Kathy, Pop. I became numb and I surely numbed myself. Hidden in the darkness was my bright soul. A fire burning in a blizzard. Now I face that again. I face that same fate. At 47. I am close to death. He is my shadow. I watched so much the last 15 years. I knew this was coming. You did as well. I just wish you chose to stop it when you could.....I couldn't. I am numb again. I am melancholy. I have the blinds closed and I am letting the cold in. "I don't feel pain, but I feel more than you'd ever know.....I dont have highs but I got some lows...I feel I've been cursed....I've been numb and been sinking like a stone..."
Death....you can get in line to beat me. The line has been long my entire life, but I'm still fucking coming for life. I'm still here. You won't beat me yet!!!
Older, but nothing's any different
Right now feels the same, I wonder why
I wish they told us, it shouldn't take a sickness
Or airplanes falling out the sky
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
One More Time - Blink-182
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