60 seconds. 14,000ft. The rest of your life.

Wheels up. We're getting some altitude. The feeling, indescribable. The visuals, incomprehensible. The thought of the next 5 minutes, fearful. Life takes you places. Life throws challenges at you. Sometimes you just need to challenge yourself. Maybe not life and death challenges, but hey, it was a group rate. We're in the plane. We get to 14,000 feet. The door opens and you see nothing but clear blue sky and white puffy clouds. The air comes rushing in. You can't breathe. Your mind can't wrap around the thought of jumping out of a plane. The doorway to the oblivion. You sure as hell aren't going up. It's a straight fall down. The first person out, Bobbi flies right on past me. The second person out, Megan's goes by and I grab her leg just to grab onto something. Kelly my tandem pulls me over to where Megan is about to jump out. She turns to me and says, "Wait!! What's your name?" Just as she falls out the door, "Oh yeah, Bobbbbbbbbb...." I mean, who even does that? For a millisecond my mind got a brief reprieve before the jump. Then it's my turn. Last of the 20 or so jumpers. Out of our minds. Into our heads. Into our hearts. And with one flying leap, we're out of the door. Complete silence. Wind going past me at 180mph. I can't hear. I am floating. Nothing can hurt me here. Nothing to think about here. Only the wind and clouds tossing at me. I am doing the unexplained. Flying further down....13,000, 10,000, 8,000, 5,000....parachute release and yanked back towards space. We glide. I can't talk. Pan to the video being taken. Screaming. Yelling. Joy. Amazement. Living. Left a lot on that plane. Starting something new once I land. We jump into life and fly towards our dreams....


In the world through which I travel, I am endlessly creating myself. - Frantz Fanon

 

refractions

In thinking about the choice, it is completely up to you. Driven to make the choice and came to a place where there seemed to be no choice for you. You consider the consequences and ramifications of your actions. In some sense they seem logical in your mind, but not logical in the sense of normal. Logic becomes bent like light through glass and the refractions of output move forward. We all have a tough time living with our consequences. We all have a tough time making difficult choices. There are those choices which cannot be reversed. There is sometimes no turning back from such a choice. Can you handle the consequences and explaining yourself for the rest of time? Can you live with not making a choice to change what is happening? No one knows what drives us to make a choice. Some of us have no other option but to act while others had a choice to act in other ways.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. – Proverb

aqua

Always carry the belief that things will get better. When you look back, you will realize you've made it through much worse. Keep hope alive.

In all things it is better to hope than to despair. -Johann von Goethe

reach

Depression is a secret you should never keep to yourself.

I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top. – John Keats

keeper

I like to remember. I choose to live in the good moments despite the bad things that may have happened. Too often we replay the bad for how they hurt us and just dispose of the good that made us feel great. Some of your best memories of life will be celebrated with people you cared for at that moment. Some few moments will be celebrated on your own. Some things are like that. A win you celebrate as your heart is exploding with happiness and the hair on your arms stands up off the skin that feels electric. With so many negative things piercing our airwaves, it is so important to remember there is so much good out there.....the good the news and media will never report. That doesn't make people go "Oh my God!" doesn't sell enough papers I guess. I remember you. I remember watching you sleep. I remember the first time I saw you. I remember letting you in my arms. I remember changing your diaper. I remember feeding you. I remember watching you trying to recover. I remember when there was nothing left...and I remember letting you go. I remember watching you get in your car. I remember you getting out. I remember you coming through my door...I remember leaving through yours. I remember. I remember the moment I kissed your head in the hospital as the heart monitor and machines kept you alive. I remember watching you run straight into the end of a metal corner and piercing your rib cage....blood gushing...no time to think....you had to be saved. I remember. I remember protecting you from evil. I remember seeing evil coming at me and seeing it come at you. I remember those nights I thought would last forever...and I remember the mornings I never wanted to see...and the regret that came along with them. I remember the beach in Rio, the snow in Banff in Calgary, the beaches of Cancun, the water of Newport, looking down the hills to Manhattan Beach, the crazy of Venice Beach, and the Cali Love. I remember Piccadilly Square and the lights. I remember the models in the basement. I remember the Underground in Chicago and the late nights on the balcony. I remember swimming with the sharks and the wonder of the ocean....the color. I remember you. I remember DC...and the monuments...and so many lives lost to preserve so many of the lives left...and freedom for a country so young. I wake up with memories and go to sleep thinking what I will create next. I want them to be good. I want your memories to be good. Your time here is so short...we are but a speck in the universe...maybe half that. Let's make memories.....so they.....can remember us.....

Be safe out there. Bob.

Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember. - Virgil