Thursday, March 12, 2009

18 minutes

Gotta write this one quick. It’s a quicky. Anyhow, been a while since I last wrote. Almost a full week. Got some reminders that I was not fulfilling my end of the inquisitive and intelligence bargain and needed to push some stuff out onto paper and flush it from my mind. Hasn’t been an easy past seven days, but it has been interesting.

My thoughts on today kind of revolve around failure. So often it seems that failure is viewed as such a bad thing. Whether it’s a job, a task, a good attempt, or a relationship; we tend to view failing at something as us being less than capable. I learned a few things the last few weeks. Failure is a part of our path toward success.

I can only say this for myself. I have learned so much more about myself through failing or stepping in the wrong spot than I’ve ever learned from doing well or succeeding. I think when you fail at something you tend to look closer at yourself. You look at the variables that caused said failure. Too often people blame themselves, but there are so many other factors that are involved. I can’t really go into all of them because they are different for everyone. Just don’t let anyone make you feel like you failed at something. It is okay to be a bit introspective and reminiscent about the occurrence just as long someone isn’t standing over you or face-up putting it in your face. Failure in private can sometimes be just as hurtful as public failure; but at least in privacy one has the chance to put closure to it.

For me people, man, I have failed publicly on numerous occasions. I’ve failed under huge, glaring stage lights. I’ve failed on the street. I’ve failed on the diamond and I’ve failed inside an 8x10 cell. I’ve failed myself when I said what I wanted and I’ve failed myself when I should of kept my mouth shut. In either case, what I pulled from the experience was more valuable than not going through it. I guess as human beings we have that pushover factor. Things can push in any direction, but pushed too far and one is apt to get closer to their breaking point and then…

These days it seems as though people are all over the internet, others may think they know so much more about you than there really is. I find it funny that people think so much of a profile, words on a screen, or the fact that you actually may believe something I type, post, link, share, or comment on. Is that me? Maybe. Maybe it was just me that day though. Maybe it was you in that moment. Maybe it was someone from that other side.

Failing is good for the soul. Our country has failed on occasions. I say occasions because one failure may be another’s success. I don’t want to go into the examples. But the lesson still holds true. We learn as we go. We’re always going to make mistakes. I just never want to live off mistakes. Do you? Myself and some of my closest friends made mistakes to cause us loss and deprivation of freedom. I would have to say that there is no worse loss than death than deprivation of freedom. I see the reason so many people come here. I know that’s pretty deep, but some know where I’m coming from.

I told my sister K last night that if she wants to get where she wants to be, she has to build on the failures and go up.

When I think about how this applies to relationships and marriage; well you just have to laugh, right? I mean, think about your batting average as it may correlate to marriage. I don’t want to write the equation, but you get my drift. You are going to fail at relationships. We all have. And we all will. What you may have liked at 21 may not be what you fancy at 31; and rightfully so. My only advice on that topic. Don’t fail yourself and don’t let someone change the idea of what “success” means to you. I think sometimes I lost what it meant. I think I lost what it was built off of. It’s not very hard. It’s actually kind of simple when broken down. Of course we’ve all failed some people in life. They can’t hold on to that and nor can you. It’s just the way it works.

Get it?


“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” – Johnny Cash

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