Monday, March 2, 2009

Rattle & Hum

I figure that some people enjoy going through some drama every now and again. I don’t really think it’s all that healthy to be all pent up and anxious about negative things. That nervousness you get about seeing someone you’re not on good terms with. That job interview you have coming up. That review that you’re scheduled to go through with your boss. That tough conversation you may have to have with a significant other that things just aren’t going to work out you or they may want and seeing that look on their face that you just didn’t think would hurt you as much as it may have.

I don’t know. I know we all have those moments. Sometimes there’s usually some time in between peaks and valleys of life. As I’ve aged I’ve noticed that I mentally laugh at these situations. Well, not the break-up type situations. But seriously. When I think about some of the situations that I was so intense and emotional about actually make me laugh because I’m like. Wow B, you really took that to another level. You were really involved in that situation. It’s funny. If you speak about something with someone enough, they may think you are so much more involved than you yourself even are. You just want something to talk about at the time. I know this because when I’m going through anything, it all stops around Friday evening. It all stops when the sun goes down and night is once again upon us. And it doesn’t really matter what I’m doing. Man, I just know that life is so tough, even tougher with everything going on in the world right now. Put your problems in perspective. I know. I know. I can’t step into your shoes and really don’t know you and how you feel. But know this. I’ve stepped in a lot of shoes. Some you may not be aware of, but damned if those shoes don’t give me the platform (no pun intended) to speak on everything from a grandmother dying of cancer to how much I enjoyed taking care of my three youngest sisters every night between the ages of 13 to 16. L was too mature and learning about make-up and hair spray and boys by that time. While that was a very stressful time in my life; I also think it was one of the best. I think those childcare and parenting skills will some day come into play. Someday.

I guess what I’m saying is turn that stress into power. Say to yourself that I or we can beat this. We can win. We can overcome. I think way too many times we go with the beat of a drum that’s been beaten in life for the last two or ten centuries. I don’t have this or that, so let me just settle. I’ll never get this job or that job, so oh woe is me. I’ll never get a date with Jennifer Aniston because John Mayer has better hair than I do. Watch out John, I play a mean triangle!

Then there are those times when you need to look inside yourself to overcome something difficult in your life. I never have a measuring stick for the severity of a person’s own dilemmas, so I try to not minimize them and say something like, “oh, you think you have it bad?” I can’t say that I’ve had to have a little pep talk with myself in some time. Probably not since June and that was mentally incarcerating. I find that the sooner you deal with a problem the sooner it will dissolve into the fabric of your past.

I can’t tell if what I deal with are recurring problems, but a few do happen often these days. I take them with a grain of salt and try not to let too many people who are close to me know that I am sweating. Not that there’s anything wrong with acknowledging the stress of a situation, but I feel, like the media, the more people you tell the more stress you are asking for. Only a few people know my dilemmas. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the few that know there problems as well. I like to keep it that way. A few close buddies.

Anyhow, enough of that. It’s Friday and getting close to quitting time. Today was rough. I can handle rough Mondays, but rough Fridays just put a bad spin on the weekend. Especially when you have no control over it.

I wrote this Sunday and now there is about 5 inches of snow on the ground. I wish I was 12 again.


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