Don't make life harder for yourself. If you have to work so hard for people to accept you they're probably not the people you want in your life. I mean, when you go to buy some new clothes, do you try on one size and then walk out and buy it? Everything needs to fit perfectly on you. Okay, maybe not perfectly, but well enough that you look good. Of course you all look good. Friends are the same way. Find them, try them in your life, see if they fit, and keep them around. I can admit I've had to toss a few friends out. Even exchanged a few as they didn't always "fit". It may hurt you if these friends have been in your life for a while and you have come to discover that it's just not beneficial to be friends with them. Even more so if they're a significant other, but the same rules apply. You tried them on, they fit until you outgrew them and now you need to go shopping again, right? Or maybe....maybe you recycle. Maybe you even go to the thrift store and buy some used stuff. Ewww..Ha. Ha....
In a way I guess we're all getting sloppy seconds. What really stinks is when you keep trying on the same piece and every time you look at it in the mirror, it doesn't fit. Maybe you don't need to keep trying to change the piece. Maybe just drop the piece on the floor and walk out of the store......
b
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
claps
First off, thanks to the people that have been sending me comments and appreciation about my writings. It motivates me to search for more in my life and in my mind. I guess sometimes when I talk to friends, family, & peers, I even pick their brains for some words or statements to add. I am often asked for advice about an array of life situations and I sometimes think to myself. Are these people asking me because I’ve been through what they’re going through or because they’re at a loss as to what to do in the situation? I guess either choice could be the right one, but most of all I think people come for support. Support if they choose to be wrong. Support if they choose to be right.
Recently, I’ve had to deal with the wrong, but like I said, I think I’m there for moral support. We all need a “it’s okay” moment to share with someone close to us. It helps if you have some type of background or life with that person, but then I think about the little kid who hurts his knee on the playground and the adult saying “Awe, it’ll be okay”. A statement for everything in life right there on the playground. It will be okay. I have been in some dire situations in life. Anyone who knows the story of my life to this point will usually say, “dude, you’re one lucky guy”. I didn’t used to agree with that statement, but after the principal and the police officer have said this to me X number of times over the course of our friendship, I have to agree. I don’t want to say that I am lucky to be alive, but given some circumstances, I am.
We all need a little support once in a while. I know people like to say they are “fine, strong, don’t need your help, I can do it on my own”, but well, I think we sometimes say that with bated breath. A number of people have helped me become the person I am in life and they support me without saying a word. People who may come down on you are not lacking in their support for you; quite the contrary they are your biggest supporters because they are so emotional about wanting the best for you.
Although you may not hear it, we can still speak in silence. If you know others care about you, but don’t always call you out on stuff, know they care enough to make some changes and do the right thing.
b
Recently, I’ve had to deal with the wrong, but like I said, I think I’m there for moral support. We all need a “it’s okay” moment to share with someone close to us. It helps if you have some type of background or life with that person, but then I think about the little kid who hurts his knee on the playground and the adult saying “Awe, it’ll be okay”. A statement for everything in life right there on the playground. It will be okay. I have been in some dire situations in life. Anyone who knows the story of my life to this point will usually say, “dude, you’re one lucky guy”. I didn’t used to agree with that statement, but after the principal and the police officer have said this to me X number of times over the course of our friendship, I have to agree. I don’t want to say that I am lucky to be alive, but given some circumstances, I am.
We all need a little support once in a while. I know people like to say they are “fine, strong, don’t need your help, I can do it on my own”, but well, I think we sometimes say that with bated breath. A number of people have helped me become the person I am in life and they support me without saying a word. People who may come down on you are not lacking in their support for you; quite the contrary they are your biggest supporters because they are so emotional about wanting the best for you.
Although you may not hear it, we can still speak in silence. If you know others care about you, but don’t always call you out on stuff, know they care enough to make some changes and do the right thing.
b
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
liquid pyramid
I love work. I would have to admit that since I have been on this earth for a few decades, I've always had a job, always thrived, and have never taken a vacation of more than 3 days. I mean, I must love it, right? I think about that every time someone mentions these places that I dream about visiting. Cabo anyone? I don't know. Maybe it's the blue-collar in me that I never took off. Maybe it's that Philly work ethic that I somehow learned all those years in Irish Catholic & Italian upbringing. Maybe I do like being grinded down to the barest of bones in a job until I get it done. I don't like to say I've ever settled for much in life. And, well, maybe I don't like to settle for having something halfway finished. I mean, who leaves bricks on the table with these tough economic times? Take those bricks and build yourself a pyramid. You might look an alcoholic to some, but at least you're productive. You're all taking a drink of the working mans well (this a unisex statement ladies please don't bash me).
Anyhow, sometimes do you ever get going on a project, task, follow-up, or dream....and just feel like you're walking on one of those ground-level motorized walkways you can use in the airport? I mean, shit...even when I walk on those things I still see people walking on the non-moving ground and going just as fast. Is the airport trying to tell me something besides your flight is delayed? Like hey son, use all your techno-mo-logical doo-hickeys to walk from point A to point B...you're not getting there any faster. You just think you look cooler trying to get there. I know why they call the little squares in excel "cells"....the longer you use these damn things the more you feel trapped in your box.
So what! I took a break. I can't spend my entire life working towards retirement.
b
Anyhow, sometimes do you ever get going on a project, task, follow-up, or dream....and just feel like you're walking on one of those ground-level motorized walkways you can use in the airport? I mean, shit...even when I walk on those things I still see people walking on the non-moving ground and going just as fast. Is the airport trying to tell me something besides your flight is delayed? Like hey son, use all your techno-mo-logical doo-hickeys to walk from point A to point B...you're not getting there any faster. You just think you look cooler trying to get there. I know why they call the little squares in excel "cells"....the longer you use these damn things the more you feel trapped in your box.
So what! I took a break. I can't spend my entire life working towards retirement.
b
10 minutes
You ever just wake up and not worry about anything? I used to wake up worrying about all kinds of stuff. From family, to friends, to work, to school, to um, what I did last night…And, well, who the hell are you sleeping next to me? Or in college and thereafter, where the hell am I and why are you speaking in pig Latin? Those last few are of course just exaggerations. Sometimes in the past I never had to ask those questions because the nights would become mornings and I’d just “go through it”. Ah The Deck. These days I have some mix of normal nights with a side of insanity.
Some mornings, like today for instance, I woke up with a calm ease. I woke up ten minutes later than what I had planned, but since I didn’t set my alarm, err cell phone, ten minutes earlier it just didn’t happen. Anyhow, I woke up and my heart wasn’t racing at the usual BPM rate that it might when you get up in the morning. It wasn’t even rushing. It was like watching the tide go out on the beach. It was just moving along at it’s own pace. I stood there for a brief second and just looked.
When I have mornings like that I get up more motivated and ready for whatever the day will hold. I think I said in an earlier post that if you can go to bed smiling on your pillow you’re a lucky person. I think if your mornings are greeted with a sense of calm contentment; you go away with a safe confidence that things are pretty good.
That happened this morning. Well, that’s what the guy who wrote this told me. :)
b
Some mornings, like today for instance, I woke up with a calm ease. I woke up ten minutes later than what I had planned, but since I didn’t set my alarm, err cell phone, ten minutes earlier it just didn’t happen. Anyhow, I woke up and my heart wasn’t racing at the usual BPM rate that it might when you get up in the morning. It wasn’t even rushing. It was like watching the tide go out on the beach. It was just moving along at it’s own pace. I stood there for a brief second and just looked.
When I have mornings like that I get up more motivated and ready for whatever the day will hold. I think I said in an earlier post that if you can go to bed smiling on your pillow you’re a lucky person. I think if your mornings are greeted with a sense of calm contentment; you go away with a safe confidence that things are pretty good.
That happened this morning. Well, that’s what the guy who wrote this told me. :)
b
Monday, February 9, 2009
exchanges
Man, just when I think I have had the best weekends of my life, I have one that topped a lot of them. Anyhow, with the financial times being what they are and people losing their jobs I find it inspiring and enjoyable that you can get just as much out of a night of interesting conversation and a few drinks with a special person as you can popping bottles in some jaw-dropping club with the music dripping off the walls into the beats of your soul.....When i think that I know all there is about a certain species, some people just open my eyes and make me grin when they open their mouth to tell me their thoughts on life, love, family, and what makes them feel good.
In the same aspect, having the time of your life with a few great friends also makes life seem so worth it. I loved it. Being a few feet above ground level and watching the crowd from a slight distance as my friends just let it all out. I love that the friends I have now find absolutely nothing wrong with dancing, singing, raging, and being themselves around me and anyone else. I don't miss the days of being a tough guy who never had any fun and stood against the wall. Just not me. So these days, err nights, when I can smile for hours, pat my buddies on the back, dance like I'm in my own show, and hoot and holler at the top of my lungs....well, that's when I feel alive. I know it may sound stupid, but if you're a fan of music, any kind of music, it just moves you in ways that nothing else can.
I was impressed by everyone and everything that happened this weekend. Sometimes I think you just need to put yourself out there and let yourself absorb what people have to offer your life. Don't shut yourself out to the possibility of feeling all that a night may have in store for you......even if you may question some of your actions or feelings; you can wake up the next day and start all over, but come on....who regrets a night of pure, unadulterated fun? I don't. Never have, never will.
As much fun as I have writing, I get just as much enjoyment listening to life.
b
In the same aspect, having the time of your life with a few great friends also makes life seem so worth it. I loved it. Being a few feet above ground level and watching the crowd from a slight distance as my friends just let it all out. I love that the friends I have now find absolutely nothing wrong with dancing, singing, raging, and being themselves around me and anyone else. I don't miss the days of being a tough guy who never had any fun and stood against the wall. Just not me. So these days, err nights, when I can smile for hours, pat my buddies on the back, dance like I'm in my own show, and hoot and holler at the top of my lungs....well, that's when I feel alive. I know it may sound stupid, but if you're a fan of music, any kind of music, it just moves you in ways that nothing else can.
I was impressed by everyone and everything that happened this weekend. Sometimes I think you just need to put yourself out there and let yourself absorb what people have to offer your life. Don't shut yourself out to the possibility of feeling all that a night may have in store for you......even if you may question some of your actions or feelings; you can wake up the next day and start all over, but come on....who regrets a night of pure, unadulterated fun? I don't. Never have, never will.
As much fun as I have writing, I get just as much enjoyment listening to life.
b
Friday, February 6, 2009
refractions
So this guy who thinks he knows all kinds of stuff about the law (he's a lawyer) told me to stop blogging and do some work. I'll stop writing when you stop reading, deal? The guy's a good friend, so I saw all of this in jest. I started the weekend a bit early, but who doesn't? The crowd is moving pretty fast. The feelings are moving even faster. Most of the times life seems to be a blur of work, text messages and semi-regretful mornings. Sometimes I think in the future....like 40 years from now....I just want to say, I did everything I wanted to do. I want life to mirror what I have in my head. A shaken and stirred mix of raw human emotion that baselines off of happiness, love, and the feeling I get when I open my eyes after a kiss.
Call me what you want guys. I've been called worse by the girls.
b
Call me what you want guys. I've been called worse by the girls.
b
Thursday, February 5, 2009
the question
Wow. Two posts in one night. Okay, I'm officially bored in my apartment, but have to talk....
So a few weeks ago I'm at this local bar near where I grew up. The bar is called the Red Lantern. I really never understood how it got this name. I feel like that name should be bestowed upon a pub in the Kensington or Hammersmith end of London. Yes, I've been to both ends. Anyhow, it's like Jack the Ripper type shit. The Red Lantern. Anyhow, I think everyone in my family, aside from my ma and pa have been there. It's kind of that "cheers" bar, but my town happens to have some pretty fancy women. Tough, but fancy. Anyhow, cut to the chase.....
So a few weeks ago, I'm there. I was in transit and in the middle of my commute back to the city, but decided to stay at my grandfathers. I went to the prinicipals house to watch some of the fight. Then my sister came and picked me up and we went to the bar. I always know a ton of people there. I usually get "dude/bobby, you've been away for like 3, 4, 5, 10 years....where were you? in jail? extradited? saving the world?"....None of the above. One girl who I recently came to know in the past year or so asked me something that no girl, no pretty girl, no not pretty girl ever asked me ever since I've been going out....
She says...."When are you gonna have kids?" I really didn't know what to say, but everything in my mind just went bouncing around like it does. I had all kinds of ideas, but none of which I thuoght were the truth. I mean, its no surprise, people have kids without getting married. I didn't want to offend this girl by saying that I think you should be married when I believe that you can be a good parent without being married. So, I lie. I say, Nikki, I'm gonna do that whole wife thing and do it the normal way..." She replies with "I know you....you don't even think that any girl is good enough for you...."
To that I just laughed cause I don't believe that. Hell, I know there are some on my friends list right now that are special enough. I just told her that I am insanely picky. picky about personality traits, but that I feel that you need to talk as well as you may look. Personality is so important. I mean, I want to be 70 and have my wife give me a hard time about something and just shake my head like I have in recent days. I also don't want some problem. I think that it can be easy. So this girl says what she says and I reply. I am left kind of bewildered because since leaving the area.....I may come off as pompous. Which is something I am not. I didn't want to disrespect her by saying having a child out of wedlock was bad cause I really can't judge anyone.....
If anyone knew about me they'd say I was destined to a life of apology. So yeah, I mean, I do think about the kid question, but well, maybe its the one thing I never got around to doing......
So a few weeks ago I'm at this local bar near where I grew up. The bar is called the Red Lantern. I really never understood how it got this name. I feel like that name should be bestowed upon a pub in the Kensington or Hammersmith end of London. Yes, I've been to both ends. Anyhow, it's like Jack the Ripper type shit. The Red Lantern. Anyhow, I think everyone in my family, aside from my ma and pa have been there. It's kind of that "cheers" bar, but my town happens to have some pretty fancy women. Tough, but fancy. Anyhow, cut to the chase.....
So a few weeks ago, I'm there. I was in transit and in the middle of my commute back to the city, but decided to stay at my grandfathers. I went to the prinicipals house to watch some of the fight. Then my sister came and picked me up and we went to the bar. I always know a ton of people there. I usually get "dude/bobby, you've been away for like 3, 4, 5, 10 years....where were you? in jail? extradited? saving the world?"....None of the above. One girl who I recently came to know in the past year or so asked me something that no girl, no pretty girl, no not pretty girl ever asked me ever since I've been going out....
She says...."When are you gonna have kids?" I really didn't know what to say, but everything in my mind just went bouncing around like it does. I had all kinds of ideas, but none of which I thuoght were the truth. I mean, its no surprise, people have kids without getting married. I didn't want to offend this girl by saying that I think you should be married when I believe that you can be a good parent without being married. So, I lie. I say, Nikki, I'm gonna do that whole wife thing and do it the normal way..." She replies with "I know you....you don't even think that any girl is good enough for you...."
To that I just laughed cause I don't believe that. Hell, I know there are some on my friends list right now that are special enough. I just told her that I am insanely picky. picky about personality traits, but that I feel that you need to talk as well as you may look. Personality is so important. I mean, I want to be 70 and have my wife give me a hard time about something and just shake my head like I have in recent days. I also don't want some problem. I think that it can be easy. So this girl says what she says and I reply. I am left kind of bewildered because since leaving the area.....I may come off as pompous. Which is something I am not. I didn't want to disrespect her by saying having a child out of wedlock was bad cause I really can't judge anyone.....
If anyone knew about me they'd say I was destined to a life of apology. So yeah, I mean, I do think about the kid question, but well, maybe its the one thing I never got around to doing......
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