the question

Wow. Two posts in one night. Okay, I'm officially bored in my apartment, but have to talk....

So a few weeks ago I'm at this local bar near where I grew up. The bar is called the Red Lantern. I really never understood how it got this name. I feel like that name should be bestowed upon a pub in the Kensington or Hammersmith end of London. Yes, I've been to both ends. Anyhow, it's like Jack the Ripper type shit. The Red Lantern. Anyhow, I think everyone in my family, aside from my ma and pa have been there. It's kind of that "cheers" bar, but my town happens to have some pretty fancy women. Tough, but fancy. Anyhow, cut to the chase.....

So a few weeks ago, I'm there. I was in transit and in the middle of my commute back to the city, but decided to stay at my grandfathers. I went to the prinicipals house to watch some of the fight. Then my sister came and picked me up and we went to the bar. I always know a ton of people there. I usually get "dude/bobby, you've been away for like 3, 4, 5, 10 years....where were you? in jail? extradited? saving the world?"....None of the above. One girl who I recently came to know in the past year or so asked me something that no girl, no pretty girl, no not pretty girl ever asked me ever since I've been going out....

She says...."When are you gonna have kids?" I really didn't know what to say, but everything in my mind just went bouncing around like it does. I had all kinds of ideas, but none of which I thuoght were the truth. I mean, its no surprise, people have kids without getting married. I didn't want to offend this girl by saying that I think you should be married when I believe that you can be a good parent without being married. So, I lie. I say, Nikki, I'm gonna do that whole wife thing and do it the normal way..." She replies with "I know you....you don't even think that any girl is good enough for you...."

To that I just laughed cause I don't believe that. Hell, I know there are some on my friends list right now that are special enough. I just told her that I am insanely picky. picky about personality traits, but that I feel that you need to talk as well as you may look. Personality is so important. I mean, I want to be 70 and have my wife give me a hard time about something and just shake my head like I have in recent days. I also don't want some problem. I think that it can be easy. So this girl says what she says and I reply. I am left kind of bewildered because since leaving the area.....I may come off as pompous. Which is something I am not. I didn't want to disrespect her by saying having a child out of wedlock was bad cause I really can't judge anyone.....

If anyone knew about me they'd say I was destined to a life of apology. So yeah, I mean, I do think about the kid question, but well, maybe its the one thing I never got around to doing......