Friday, April 24, 2009

tic toc

Sometimes I see things that just make me laugh. I laugh in a good way. A “I knew you were thinking the same thing” or “thinking about such and such way”…It’s funny how much is said with simple actions rather than a complex lineage of grammar. Get that? I’m part man, part thesaurus. Never a boring conversation. Ha!

Anyhow, I ask myself this week, why not? I’ve never really set limitations on life. That’s probably not the best thing to do. You should probably set some limitations on some things in life. Fun should have limitations. Unfortunately I guess I have not seen any in some time. Work should have limitations. Often times people are telling me to “not worry about it” or “put that thing (laptop, blackberry, carrier pigeon) down”. I don’t know. It’s probably some of our worst flaws. As I write this I’m trying to focus on listening. But I can’t tell you where I am or what I’m listening to. Anyhow, sometimes, when something happens good to other people around me, the natural reaction is to sometimes think “will that happen to me?”, “when will I do that”, “when will we all get together and do something like that?” I guess recently, actually this week, I said why not now? Why not soon? Why not?

It’s almost like we’re all waiting for things to happen. I don’t care who you are, you’re waiting in some regard for certain things to occur. From E in Chicago who runs at the speed of light. To the principal who runs in his mind, but strolls in reality. To me, I don’t even know what I do. I think I do one of those walks Fred Astair or Gene Kelly did with the umbrella. Right leg out, left leg out, skip, jump, and repeat every 10 feet. Often times my mind is going a lot faster than my mouth or my fingers, but recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about things. I think I need someone to call me so I can just sit and listen to them so maybe for a day I can stop thinking about what I should say…um, or write. That reminds me. Might be time to call one of my four sisters.

I sometimes question the limits. I used to think the limit on something to be done was time. Time was always the deadline. Had to make varsity by 11th grade. Had to get that college application in by August (thank you PSU-Delco for letting me take entrance exams 7 days prior to the start of classes). Had to graduate college in four years (okay. 4.5. it was worth the fun). Had to get a job by graduation. Had to get a better job. Had to go to grad school. Had to finish the thesis. Had to finish probation.…well, you get my point.

Well, all the while I thought time was the limit on achieving certain things in life. I think that I was wrong in that assumption. I guess society imposes the time constraints on us. Maybe some unmarried gents and gals will agree, but then again maybe you won’t. Not like you have to be honest with me. I hardly know you right?

I guess the conclusion I came to regarding limits was that it wasn’t time. It was me. I placed all these limits on myself. I suggested there be limits. I thought certain things had to be done by a certain time. The older I get. The more I believe that the goal is not to get things done by a certain time, but to get things done right. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t just apply to trivial things in life. It can apply to everything.

I guess I’m more apt to want take my time and do something right than rush and do something wrong. On the other side of the coin I know time waits for no man and that certain things you will want to achieve a certain time, date, age, minute, or day. No doubt about that. And I understand the logic, so keep it up.

It’s not selfish to want time to yourself. The world understands that not every time can our time be spent in public. It may be those moments when you appreciate yourself or those you love most that you spend your time wisely. I can say that I’ve probably learned the most about myself in the time I have spent in solitude. By wish or warrant I was by myself, but there was a reason for both venues.

Don’t ever set a limit on the time you spend doing what you love. Those times are often the shortest and end the most abruptly in life. When you’re doing what you love or spending time with great company you wish time could stand still, but most times it speeds right on by into the space of memory or afterthought. I guess that’s the time when I wish there were no clocks and the sun never set….


“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you”. -Carl Sandburg

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