When I am having a bad day or having trouble with something, I always find that speaking to my grandfather to be the greatest therapy in the world. I can sit there and say whatever I want and I will get the honest, old-world, no-nonsense truth from him. Whether it's about relationships, jobs, partying, parents, traffic in Smelco, or the beach.....the guy will never shy away from telling me what he thinks. As I sit, um stand, I'm friggin standing in my kitchen, mykitchen that is painted with a color call "optimistic yellow". When my mom saw the kitchen, she thought I had gone another direction with my life...of course, if you know me, that's just not a possibility.. And there's nothing wrong with either team you play for....But I digress...
As I stand here, I can only laugh at how talking with my grandfather makes me feel. Sometimes I wish I came from a simpler time. No war, no sinking economy, no divorces, no terrorism, no crashes, no nothing, but then I think for a second...the guy is 78 years old...he's gone through the wire and back. I guess you just tough it out and live to fight another day by the time you're his age.
Do you have a special person you share so much with? A parent? A friend? A relative? I mean, that person that you could tell anything to, but really, you are just impressed with their take on life. How they are totally at ease with everything that can and will happen. I have a few friends that I know are like that. They handle the most difficult situations in life with grace and a quiet calm. I just hope that it's honest. Me on the other hand. I sometimes run down the street with my ass on fire just to see who will look. It's strange though. It can change as you rotate through groups of friends. In one group you could be the party boy/girl and in another you're just a rookie. Okay, so maybe all of you don't party any more.
b
Thursday, February 5, 2009
clocking it
Do I waste time? Who the hell doesn't? I mean, wasting time is something every person needs to do once in a while. My one sister said to me the other day "shit Bob, who the hell cares if I want to stay in my room all day and sleep?" When I thought about it, I was like, yeah, I mean, I guess if you did what you needed to do, went to work, ate, showered, cleaned yourself, and then woke up on your day off and wanted to do nothing...that's every person's God-given right. I've found myself spending 1, 2 or 24 hours in a blob-like, hibernating state.......I know every guy who sees this will understand, but I always wundered....do girls like to be totally lazy on their days off?
My one sister always seems to want to give the appearance that doing something makes it seem like you're really getting somewhere in life, but shit, I'd have no problem sitting down on some beach chair off the coast of Mexico, Spain or actually...come to think of it...Ibiza....sipping a Corona with my 12 closest friends, a beautiful baby, and a great pair of worn jeans and Reef flip-flops.......Do I have to be rich to achieve that? Maybe. Maybe not......
I guess for now I'll take the Jersey shore, dark water that obscures my feet, my pop pop's can in the sand and a few cold miller lites from the local 6-pack store. What says class like a miller lite?
While that time might not cost much.....it's worth so much more than money could buy.
b
I read a story that really touched me today. This was the quote at the end of it. From Emily Dickinson's Chariot.....I hope they find the person that did you wrong Billey Joe Johnson
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me …
My one sister always seems to want to give the appearance that doing something makes it seem like you're really getting somewhere in life, but shit, I'd have no problem sitting down on some beach chair off the coast of Mexico, Spain or actually...come to think of it...Ibiza....sipping a Corona with my 12 closest friends, a beautiful baby, and a great pair of worn jeans and Reef flip-flops.......Do I have to be rich to achieve that? Maybe. Maybe not......
I guess for now I'll take the Jersey shore, dark water that obscures my feet, my pop pop's can in the sand and a few cold miller lites from the local 6-pack store. What says class like a miller lite?
While that time might not cost much.....it's worth so much more than money could buy.
b
I read a story that really touched me today. This was the quote at the end of it. From Emily Dickinson's Chariot.....I hope they find the person that did you wrong Billey Joe Johnson
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me …
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
it happened
And for anyone that asked if that story in the club was true.....of course it was. I can't make up shit that good.
And to all the good girls and boys out there....remember....you are worth it. Time is something we can never get back so don't go wasting your heart and your time on something that's not worthwhile.
Life can be what we want it to be.
b
And to all the good girls and boys out there....remember....you are worth it. Time is something we can never get back so don't go wasting your heart and your time on something that's not worthwhile.
Life can be what we want it to be.
b
passing lane
It seems as though in the this hi-tech age of messaging, calling, texting, media messaging, picture messaging, messaging messaging, SMS messaging, and voicemail messaging, the best way to show your disdain for something is to ignore it.
–verb (used with object), -nored, -nor⋅ing.
1. to refrain from noticing or recognizing
I guess it comes down to something you have to ignore or willfully ignore. When things bother me I will either be very vocal about it or not say a word. I find silence to be a very useful tool in today's society. It can "say" a lot of things about a person feels. The interesting part of the definition above is "refrain from noticing". I mean, if I didn't notice something I wouldn't take action to ignore it. My point is, there are some things in life that you just have to look the other way about. I know that people might say you should confront something that bothers you, but that could just cause a whole mess of other problems.
But you have something or someone that made it so hard to ignore? Almost to the point that you're "noticing or recognizing" it/them in your thoughts? And how about going so far to ignore something or someone that you know you enjoy experiencing? Isn't that just as difficult?
The ironic thing about this is that it seems as though the more effort you put into ignoring something, the thought of it is running through your mind nonetheless. And the more you don't look at your reasons for ignoring something, the more you'll question if ignoring it was right at all.
b
–verb (used with object), -nored, -nor⋅ing.
1. to refrain from noticing or recognizing
I guess it comes down to something you have to ignore or willfully ignore. When things bother me I will either be very vocal about it or not say a word. I find silence to be a very useful tool in today's society. It can "say" a lot of things about a person feels. The interesting part of the definition above is "refrain from noticing". I mean, if I didn't notice something I wouldn't take action to ignore it. My point is, there are some things in life that you just have to look the other way about. I know that people might say you should confront something that bothers you, but that could just cause a whole mess of other problems.
But you have something or someone that made it so hard to ignore? Almost to the point that you're "noticing or recognizing" it/them in your thoughts? And how about going so far to ignore something or someone that you know you enjoy experiencing? Isn't that just as difficult?
The ironic thing about this is that it seems as though the more effort you put into ignoring something, the thought of it is running through your mind nonetheless. And the more you don't look at your reasons for ignoring something, the more you'll question if ignoring it was right at all.
b
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
callout
It's interesting when you call people out on something you both know is true, but yet when you discuss it can never come to an agreement. I mean, my sister said to me last night "you always want to be right! you always need people to agree with you..." I know why she feels that way, but I don't believe it to be true. I mean, if you make a decision that everyone tells you is wrong, but you feel is right, then maybe it's right for you. I think that we influence our own decisiosns, but that in the end, they are a mash-up of our morals, our passions, our options, our parents, and what we believe to be society's rules....or lack there of.
Someone recently reacted to a decision I had to make. The decision was made and afterwards things had to be different. I stated that this would be the effect. So how can someone still be surprised when you warn them of the consequences of their decisions? It's like, you tell them what's going to happen, it happens, and then they're surprised about how things are afterwards. I just don't get it. Maybe it's that whole control thing I spoke about a few weeks ago. Controlling the situation is enjoyable to some people..Being controlled, not so much.
I guess maybe if people feel they can control the situation that they can control their emotions. I'm not quite sure.
As the years pass I find myself having a little bit of both worlds in situations. A little structure, a little control, and a lot of freedom to be myself. I think when you can be yourself it lets people see the most beautiful things a person can offer. I feel sorry for those people that can't be who they really are because they constantly make excuses for being stuck in a bad situation.
b
Someone recently reacted to a decision I had to make. The decision was made and afterwards things had to be different. I stated that this would be the effect. So how can someone still be surprised when you warn them of the consequences of their decisions? It's like, you tell them what's going to happen, it happens, and then they're surprised about how things are afterwards. I just don't get it. Maybe it's that whole control thing I spoke about a few weeks ago. Controlling the situation is enjoyable to some people..Being controlled, not so much.
I guess maybe if people feel they can control the situation that they can control their emotions. I'm not quite sure.
As the years pass I find myself having a little bit of both worlds in situations. A little structure, a little control, and a lot of freedom to be myself. I think when you can be yourself it lets people see the most beautiful things a person can offer. I feel sorry for those people that can't be who they really are because they constantly make excuses for being stuck in a bad situation.
b
Monday, February 2, 2009
a dirty little story. if you have a problem with vulgarity stop reading now.
Okay, so how many of you kept reading? I thought so.
Let me preface this by saying this all occurred in a club on a weekend and I’m pretty sure there was alcohol involved. I don’t want to make some anonymous girl sound bad.
I don’t know why, but sometimes it is downright sexy to hear a girl speak her mind and sometimes even curse or say some unsavory words. It’s even more sexy when the girl can do it and still be utterly attractive.
So I get to this club in the city around 12. I had to use the restroom as soon as I got there, so I asked a friend and he points me in the right direction. The area where the bathroom is located is quite dark, so I only saw one door and proceeded to push it open. That statement tells me how I treat relationships. I don’t read the writing, I just push the door open and see what’s inside. That door could of said “DANGER AHEAD…ON-COMING BAD RELATIONSHIP.” Ha.
Anyhow, I open the door and the first thing I see is two amazingly beautiful girls. Immediately, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I thought this was the men’s room.” The one girl goes, “Oh it’s cool. This is a unisex bathroom.” I think I saw a flock of doves fly after she said that. I’m also pretty sure there was some type of gospel-hallelujah singing in the background. I said, “ok…so it’s cool?” The girls says “yeah do your thing”. So I mosey on up to a stall. Mind you, all walls of this bathroom are covered in a collage of shredded mirror. So as I’m doing my thing these two girls behind me are in my reflection and then the one girl goes…
“It must be pretty nice to stare at me with your dick in your hand.”
I said, “well, better my hands then yours, right?” (pause for comedic timing)….
“But give me a few minutes and I’m sure that could change…”
The girl’s friend just let out a loud “OH MY GOD! Did you just say that?”
I zipped up, looked her right in the eye ands said\, “yes, and now I need a drink. Then made my exit stage left.
I got out to the outskirts of the floor and shared my story with my friend N. So I tell him and he goes, “dude, you’re bullshitting me. Your stories are sometimes too good to be true. Shit like that doesn’t happen to normal guys.”
As he’s saying this, the girl to his right turns around and says ‘No, everything he just said is totally true.” And then she turns and looks at me….
I told you so. Okay, so it wasn’t that dirty.
b
Let me preface this by saying this all occurred in a club on a weekend and I’m pretty sure there was alcohol involved. I don’t want to make some anonymous girl sound bad.
I don’t know why, but sometimes it is downright sexy to hear a girl speak her mind and sometimes even curse or say some unsavory words. It’s even more sexy when the girl can do it and still be utterly attractive.
So I get to this club in the city around 12. I had to use the restroom as soon as I got there, so I asked a friend and he points me in the right direction. The area where the bathroom is located is quite dark, so I only saw one door and proceeded to push it open. That statement tells me how I treat relationships. I don’t read the writing, I just push the door open and see what’s inside. That door could of said “DANGER AHEAD…ON-COMING BAD RELATIONSHIP.” Ha.
Anyhow, I open the door and the first thing I see is two amazingly beautiful girls. Immediately, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I thought this was the men’s room.” The one girl goes, “Oh it’s cool. This is a unisex bathroom.” I think I saw a flock of doves fly after she said that. I’m also pretty sure there was some type of gospel-hallelujah singing in the background. I said, “ok…so it’s cool?” The girls says “yeah do your thing”. So I mosey on up to a stall. Mind you, all walls of this bathroom are covered in a collage of shredded mirror. So as I’m doing my thing these two girls behind me are in my reflection and then the one girl goes…
“It must be pretty nice to stare at me with your dick in your hand.”
I said, “well, better my hands then yours, right?” (pause for comedic timing)….
“But give me a few minutes and I’m sure that could change…”
The girl’s friend just let out a loud “OH MY GOD! Did you just say that?”
I zipped up, looked her right in the eye ands said\, “yes, and now I need a drink. Then made my exit stage left.
I got out to the outskirts of the floor and shared my story with my friend N. So I tell him and he goes, “dude, you’re bullshitting me. Your stories are sometimes too good to be true. Shit like that doesn’t happen to normal guys.”
As he’s saying this, the girl to his right turns around and says ‘No, everything he just said is totally true.” And then she turns and looks at me….
I told you so. Okay, so it wasn’t that dirty.
b
risk & reward
Two things that might surprise people. I don’t have internet access at my apartment and I am writing this on a Saturday night. Then again I might do more in one night than most people do in a weekend, but I digreess.
Wow, what a novel idea. A pen and a piece of paper and some thoughts. I saw something that kind of brought me down tonight. It wasn’t something that was done to me or said to me. Just words on a page (or screen in this case). Although it was just words it gave me that uneasy feeling that you may feel in your stomach and at that moment I remembered why I like to write. The affect I write to achieve was now challenging me. This uneasiness turned to frustration. Frustration led to writing this.
I am pretty sure that some people would be so sure and certain that their unsatisfied and sad rather than taking the risk to be fulfilled and happy. I guess for some they get used to the status quo of said joke, said life or said self image. I just wish that wasn’t the case because I feel we should all get what we rightfully deserve. I’m not saying everyone should jump off the Walt Whitman because their life isn’t perfect, but for some of the things you can directly have a say in, you should be able to be happy.
Maybe I’m looking into this too much. Maybe everyone in the world is happy tonight and I am sitting here not so happy, but I guess I feel like I’m not happy for the right reasons instead of being happy for the wrong reasons.
I hope you’re happy, but then again these are just words friends and who writes on paper any more these days?
I want to be right, but seeing something wrong always makes me write.
b
Wow, what a novel idea. A pen and a piece of paper and some thoughts. I saw something that kind of brought me down tonight. It wasn’t something that was done to me or said to me. Just words on a page (or screen in this case). Although it was just words it gave me that uneasy feeling that you may feel in your stomach and at that moment I remembered why I like to write. The affect I write to achieve was now challenging me. This uneasiness turned to frustration. Frustration led to writing this.
I am pretty sure that some people would be so sure and certain that their unsatisfied and sad rather than taking the risk to be fulfilled and happy. I guess for some they get used to the status quo of said joke, said life or said self image. I just wish that wasn’t the case because I feel we should all get what we rightfully deserve. I’m not saying everyone should jump off the Walt Whitman because their life isn’t perfect, but for some of the things you can directly have a say in, you should be able to be happy.
Maybe I’m looking into this too much. Maybe everyone in the world is happy tonight and I am sitting here not so happy, but I guess I feel like I’m not happy for the right reasons instead of being happy for the wrong reasons.
I hope you’re happy, but then again these are just words friends and who writes on paper any more these days?
I want to be right, but seeing something wrong always makes me write.
b
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