Monday, February 2, 2009

risk & reward

Two things that might surprise people. I don’t have internet access at my apartment and I am writing this on a Saturday night. Then again I might do more in one night than most people do in a weekend, but I digreess.

Wow, what a novel idea. A pen and a piece of paper and some thoughts. I saw something that kind of brought me down tonight. It wasn’t something that was done to me or said to me. Just words on a page (or screen in this case). Although it was just words it gave me that uneasy feeling that you may feel in your stomach and at that moment I remembered why I like to write. The affect I write to achieve was now challenging me. This uneasiness turned to frustration. Frustration led to writing this.

I am pretty sure that some people would be so sure and certain that their unsatisfied and sad rather than taking the risk to be fulfilled and happy. I guess for some they get used to the status quo of said joke, said life or said self image. I just wish that wasn’t the case because I feel we should all get what we rightfully deserve. I’m not saying everyone should jump off the Walt Whitman because their life isn’t perfect, but for some of the things you can directly have a say in, you should be able to be happy.

Maybe I’m looking into this too much. Maybe everyone in the world is happy tonight and I am sitting here not so happy, but I guess I feel like I’m not happy for the right reasons instead of being happy for the wrong reasons.

I hope you’re happy, but then again these are just words friends and who writes on paper any more these days?

I want to be right, but seeing something wrong always makes me write.


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