Monday, February 2, 2009

a dirty little story. if you have a problem with vulgarity stop reading now.

Okay, so how many of you kept reading? I thought so.

Let me preface this by saying this all occurred in a club on a weekend and I’m pretty sure there was alcohol involved. I don’t want to make some anonymous girl sound bad.

I don’t know why, but sometimes it is downright sexy to hear a girl speak her mind and sometimes even curse or say some unsavory words. It’s even more sexy when the girl can do it and still be utterly attractive.

So I get to this club in the city around 12. I had to use the restroom as soon as I got there, so I asked a friend and he points me in the right direction. The area where the bathroom is located is quite dark, so I only saw one door and proceeded to push it open. That statement tells me how I treat relationships. I don’t read the writing, I just push the door open and see what’s inside. That door could of said “DANGER AHEAD…ON-COMING BAD RELATIONSHIP.” Ha.

Anyhow, I open the door and the first thing I see is two amazingly beautiful girls. Immediately, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I thought this was the men’s room.” The one girl goes, “Oh it’s cool. This is a unisex bathroom.” I think I saw a flock of doves fly after she said that. I’m also pretty sure there was some type of gospel-hallelujah singing in the background. I said, “ok…so it’s cool?” The girls says “yeah do your thing”. So I mosey on up to a stall. Mind you, all walls of this bathroom are covered in a collage of shredded mirror. So as I’m doing my thing these two girls behind me are in my reflection and then the one girl goes…

“It must be pretty nice to stare at me with your dick in your hand.”

I said, “well, better my hands then yours, right?” (pause for comedic timing)….

“But give me a few minutes and I’m sure that could change…”

The girl’s friend just let out a loud “OH MY GOD! Did you just say that?”

I zipped up, looked her right in the eye ands said\, “yes, and now I need a drink. Then made my exit stage left.

I got out to the outskirts of the floor and shared my story with my friend N. So I tell him and he goes, “dude, you’re bullshitting me. Your stories are sometimes too good to be true. Shit like that doesn’t happen to normal guys.”

As he’s saying this, the girl to his right turns around and says ‘No, everything he just said is totally true.” And then she turns and looks at me….

I told you so. Okay, so it wasn’t that dirty.


No comments: