Thursday, February 19, 2009


A friend of mine had a comment in his status that said something about how people never learn. So I made a few comments and he said “a tiger can’t change his stripes”. I know exactly what he’s referring to without going into much detail. And please readers don’t hate me for saying some of the things I might say or think here, but…..

How, in this day and age, do guys, any guys, get away with treating women like shit? I just don’t understand it. What makes me more confused is that to some sick individuals this seems like a healthy way of maintaining a relationship. The give & take, the back & forth, the yin & yang. The constant wavering of emotions that go up and down with the rising and setting of the sun. I know, I know some of you will say, “oh, that’s part of every relationship…..” Man, some of the stuff I’ve heard the past few years would make a normal guy cringe. I can say that while I was in school it was okay to have a little, okay, I was knee-deep in it 24-7, but I can blame my womanizing & selfish ways. Ahhh. College was a really special time. Ha. You know the deal. Anyhow, I just don’t get with all these people in the world girls stress about one specific guy. I almost KO’d my sister when she called me crying about some local clown who just set her up to look stupid. I put it as plain as I could. Get away from him. He’s a clown. He’ll make you look bad once, he’ll definitely do it again.

Don’t think you ladies are getting off scott-free, but it is quite not at the level that some guys try to go to. I guess I can say that’s a good thing or we’d have a lot of teary-eyed bellyachers lining the streets of my city looking for reasons why Sally ran off or no longer says “I love you” before she goes to bed. I know women sometimes like to play that dominant player role, but I think they’re fooling themselves. I had a conversation with LC just the other night. I said that most girls do want to get married at some point. For guys, some of them would have no problem aging on a barstool that was in the middle of passing women like cattle do at an auction. I know this because rarely will you see so many older, lonely women as you do men at a bar or venue. Now, I don’t know if these guys are happy, but that’s their business.

My concern is that I sometimes think, and this goes for people as close as family members, that some women would rather be in something that sucks than be alone. Is this really true? I know over time that some girls start to get it and get out of that rut, but man, it seems to take years and lifetimes and the next time you see them they’re a different person.

Someone recently said to me that they were surprised I wasn’t married yet. I don’t really see this being a big surprise, but maybe that’s because I know the person I am. Had I gotten married to one of the two girls I’ve been involved with the last decade; I know neither of us would have been happy with life. They spared me and I spared them. My response to the person who said they were surprised was that I am intensely picky about spending lots of time with someone. It’s not that I pick apart someone’s personality, but well, you gotta have the qualities I look for. I think we all search for that in a mate, but on the flip side, I find it totally knee-buckling when someone I wouldn’t be attracted to attracts me to them. Maybe that’s what you found in your current relationship. The Yin to your Yang. Or the Moe to your Curly. Wait, were Moe, Larry & Curly? No wayyyyyyy.

Anyhow, Spring is coming towards us. Put away the sweaters and overcoats and layers. Undress a little more when you head out to the bar. A little bit more life in the air with the leaves and trees in the Northeast starting to come back out of their winter thaw. I always joke around with my friend LC when the weather starts getting warm. It’s like the b right of spring mantra. Single or in a relationship I say the same thing. It might sound a bit immature to some of you, but you know I don’t really care. I say, “L, it’s getting warmer out! And you know what that means??!!! People are wearing less clothing…” Now that might come off as sounding like everyone should running around jumping people, but all I’m saying is when it starts to get warmer you just seem to feel more alive and willing.

And as I am writing this an article popped up on Yahoo! It said “Indian Woman gets married for the 23rd time….” She said “It gets lonely….” I mean, she’s 68, so what, she was married once every two years? I guess when she invited men in to see her place they’d see shoes, some belts, and wedding dress hanging up on the door. Ya know…just in case.

It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.

-Lucille Ball



Anonymous said...

Loved reading this! Totally on board and in agreence with those philosophies.

Bob Malin said...

Fugs! My main man pots and pans. Glad you liked it...albeit 4 years later that I'm responding. Go Birds!