Monday, February 16, 2009

in silence

So I got a lot messages over the weekend. Lots of surprises to. Like I said, I think we all think about things around that day, but I didn’t think that the feelings would be reciprocated as much as they were. A few surprises. A few words that caught me off guard. And some things were just things that I had no idea happened.

I guess the one thing that I realized after all the things that happened this weekend is the importance of a moment. I used to be a person who would just not talk about the way I felt. Even more so, the way I felt about anyone in my life. I guess as we get older, we realize that the great people around us are not always going to be around. Man, that makes me wish I had one more day to see my grandmother and tell her how special and great I really thought she was before she passed in 2001. It all happens so fast. In the blink of an eye someone special to you is gone from your life. Like passing traffic on the highway, we just see a blur and keep on driving.

The people I spoke to this weekend told me some things that I was not really aware of. One person told me what I really meant to them. Another told me that I was great. Another told me that they missed me in recent days. I spent Saturday night on the couch directly across from my best friend. My grandfather. I went out Friday night and did enough and just wanted to relax and talk. I guess some guys on here would think, “wtf?”, I’d rather be with some hot chic, out in the city, and having a blast. Well, I guess I really could have been out doing that, but I didn’t feel well and chose to spend some time with a person who is special to me. As I was doing this I was getting a lot of messages about things from the past. I guess even though myself and these people have gone our separate ways, I made an impression on their life.

In one situation the person told me that I had no idea how much I meant to them while we were seeing each other a few years ago. This really caught me off guard as I kind of thought it was just a fun summer thing. But that is my point, maybe there was so much more to be said that was never said. So much more to share that was not shared. I mean, I was honest and said that she would of made a great girlfriend or future wife, but at the time I didn’t think that far down the road. Nevertheless, I tried to turn a conversation positive and became selfless. I said that had she stayed with me she may have never met the wonderful guy she is now in a relationship with. While I bite my tongue and said that, I had to be honest about the way things had turned out. Since that time we’ve always been friends behind the scene and it almost makes me laugh that people think we have nothing in common. But we do. I don’t really consider that I was a sacrificial lamb, but rather a guy who wasn’t in a position to be in a relationship that summer.

It’s strange how we meet people throughout life. Every person I have ever come into personal contact with has had an effect on the person I am. Some I hold on to. Some I keep around. Some I let go and find their way in life and some I just keep a distant memory. Do you believe that people in life are only supposed to be around for a specific time in your life? I really don’t know the answer to that question….

What stumps me more is when people move on and still think about their time with you days, months, years, and decades down the road. Almost makes you think, did I make the right choices or did this play out exactly how it was supposed to?

With all this being said please take just a few minutes to tell the people you care about most how you feel about them. I think about the poor families who had to deal with losing a loved one in recent weeks from the flight that crashed near Buffalo. I just get chills thinking of the final seconds of their lives and what goes through a person’s mind at that time. I really just can’t even fathom it.

A lot is going on in our lives right now and people that you think know you love them may not be so aware. Or that person who you think understands how much you mean to them may just think you’re a flash in the pan of their life. Even more so, your guy & girl friends may just want to hear your voice on the line and want you to ask them how their day was today. I always think I talk to much, but people have told me I am also a really good listener. Listen to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and even your lost friends. They might just have something to say that inspires you to say something you’ve been holding off on saying.

We had some good talks this weekend folks. It brings to mind a lyric from a favorite group of mine that sums up a lot of what I think about relationships past and present….

“In silence we still talk.” Alien by Bush.



Anonymous said...

This post is so interesting to me, because you really never know the effect you have on the people around you - how your words or actions create ripples of impact in your wake.

So in the spirit of sharing, I wanted you to know that I had an experience like that in college. Something you said in passing actually changed my outlook and helped me climb out of a bad time. Thank you for that!

Bob Malin said...

Julie, thank you for the comment. For some reason I was never aware comments were made on some of these, but I'm glad anything I said in passing made any type of difference. Just meeting you made a difference.

Unknown said...

Amazing, warm, and comforting, an oh so true embrace far beyond a hand shake...xo

Bob said...

Thank you.